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· Registered
3,624 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This Little Boy Needs Your Prayers!

If you ever cared about anybody please help this boy.

If any of you have friends or relatives that send you those "every e-mail
you send will recieve a donation for a starving kid" crap send them this
I mean after all, it's for the children!

I know you'll all want to help.

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy.

My mother is typing this for me, because I can't.
She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was
born without a body.

It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.The doctors gave me an
artificial body. It is a
burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could
do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy
doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't
cry, Mommy" and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even
though she's allergic to burlap and it
makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to
everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen
said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates Will team
up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect
prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take
them up into space so that Jesus can hear them better. Then they will come
back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church
and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better
then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be
third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to
the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy
is so sad and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and
heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head.
She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden
stomach, she hopes you die a long slow, horrible death and then burn forever
in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five
freaking' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel
guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I
wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on
me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that
very much.

Thank You,

Billy " Smiles " Evans

· Gold Bullet Member and Noted Curmudgeon
101,779 Posts
Well, his mommy has it right,. When I encounter this sort of appeal, my reactions once more prove I AM a heartless bastard (excpt the echo cardiogram I had recently DID find a heart, and my folks were married before I was conceived...)...

· Registered
3,940 Posts
Dear Billy,
I recently discovered that I was related to a Nigerian Prince who is wealthy beyond my wildest dreams, but he is in exile.

He asked that I wire him $4,000.00 so that he may begin legal proceedings to retain his crown, and he would reward me with $750,000!

When I receive this money, I will send some of it to you.

I'm sorry that I cannot forward your e-mail to everyone I know so that may send a nickel to NASA, as I'm currently doing the same for an infant girl named Natalie who is suffering from brain cancer, and she only gets a penny per e-mail.

· Registered
1,571 Posts
dear billy,
i recently discovered that i was related to a nigerian prince who is wealthy beyond my wildest dreams, but he is in exile.....

· Platinum Bullet Member
41,519 Posts
As interesting, powerful, and intelligent as the internet is, it's also very sad, demeaning, and shameful.

It's wonderful, but chaotic time we live in
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