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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Since gun show season is officially here, I figured I'd kick it off by seeing who has the funniest war stories from gun shows.

There are a couple times I've wanted to beat someone at the gun show with the +5 Stick of UberD00m, but I've mostly been able to control myself and smile (the other few times I've contented myself with laughing at them, except for the one time that I couldn't find the +5 Stick of UberD00m, which was apparently misplaced by the -10 Antique Housekeeper of Frustration), but most people already know the stories of the French guys that irritated me and of course the old man that set up with the humped 98k, so I figured I'd see if anyone else has a funny/sad story about the gun show people that really need to have their faces readjusted with a big spiky mace.

Yes, that also includes the NRA spokesb**ch that accosts you in the middle of the aisle and screams at you for not being a life member, and the people that think they can sell Oxyclean and dog food or cheap Japanese toy swords in the middle of the show. It even includes the Avon lady that seems to think she belongs there and will try to tell you how her products are relevant to your guns (they make great targets at the shooting range, but so does the Avon lady for that matter...)
 

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I've never been to a non local gunshow, usually alot of overpriced mosins and never any of the good ones either, which are usually lame with alot of suspect deals of defective scopes and firearms, overpriced clunkers, it must be interesting to see big city gunshows where an avon lady would go.
My local gunshow, never will attend again, its for getting ripped off with all the business reject guns/ammo/accessories from out of town gun dealers, and its surprising it happens two times or three times a year.
I did once see a loser selling amway there, and believe it or not his test pieces were a couple of mosins, one amway product stipped blueing then rusting it after an hour of exposure, another bleached the hell out of a spot on the stock, scared hell out of me, I was there with a $400 leather jacket on and $300 western boots, and $50 Levi's jeans, I worried the whole time someone would get bleaching agent on them then get it on me.
Or that one time this guy, supposedly a trained/experienced chef, pushing expensive automatic knife sharpeners mostly and some cheap cooking/camping knives, supposedly when he cut himself accidently and bloodied his table and was taken away by ambulance, it was cause somone bumped into him causing him to fall sideways and grabbing the table to stabilize himself but his wrist and arm got cut when he smashed his glass display cases, I wasn't too impressed with the gore, and it closed down the gunshow four hours early cause of the "bio hazard".
Then there was the dealer who had a bad habit of inserting bullets into his own rifles and pistols to make sure they took the rounds, a newer dealer, I don't know how many times someone said they bought a gun or looked at one with a round in the chamber still(before it became popular to have all the actions open by the rules). Thank god he went out of business finally, it was supposedly the main reason he was the only gun dealer around that had guns you weren't allowed to touch unless you were pulling out money to buy it, he took it an insult of his word if you questioned the condition of the bore and you wanted to see for yourself first, and all guns were as-is, I took a great risk only once with a all numbers matching k98k bcd43 for $150, ten years ago
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Wow. That's one heck of a deal on the all matcher. How did the bore turn out?

I think the worst I've ever seen was the Avon lady in the middle of the gun show when I was in Nebraska. I asked her what on EARTH she was doing at a gun show and she bluntly stated "Well my products have thousands of uses for the modern American gun collector". I stated that targets at the shooting range was only one use, and she was so offended that she glared at me and told me to go away. I mentioned to the show staff that Avon really wasn't a legitimate thing to have at a gun show and they just shrugged and stated that it was better than having an empty table.

Second worst had to have been the Shamwow idiot at the same show 6 months later. He was trying to be Billy Mays and got so into his motions that he tripped off the crate he was standing on. I was too busy laughing at his hopefully crushed skull to both calling the ambulance or helping him up. ShamWOW indeed.

And the coveted title of Third Worst was an idiot that was trying to pass off a Ruger 10/22 as a "rare .22 G43 trainer". Had it priced at $4,000 and was on the verge of being laughed out of the building. I really don't know what he was thinking (not thinking more like it), but he just stood there and weathered the snide remarks and blatant laughing. Finally I took pity on the poor misguided soul and imparted to him what he actually had and how much it was really worth. He looked stupidly at me and said that the G43 was the only semi auto ever made with a wood stock. Oh well, can't save 'em all I suppose.
 

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I enjoy these threads...but it seems like we have several active ones just like it right now. Shouldn't we contribute our posts to existing threads, rather than starting new ones?
Not trying to piss on your candle. Just suggesting we not clutter up the boards with duplicate threads.
 

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Looks like the thread is moving in two directions, both my "worsts" come from the MD Arms Collector Show.

Most ill-fitting dealer: Admidst what looks like a world-class arms museum throwing up, there was a local company called "The Window Man" that sells replacement windows for homes. I am not sure if he got the place confused with the MarketPro computer show (where they usually set up) or if he made some effort to get in.

Worst gun seller ever was someone most people refer to as "the senile guy" who always shows up with the absolute dregs. I have run away screaming from:

* A Swiss K11 with a charred stock and damaged bluing that had been in a fire, upwards of $500

* Two high-end .22lr target rifles "recovered from a flood" that had serious surface rust/stock damage issues, would not come below $1000 "the people who know these rifles will say thats a bargain"

* Winchester M1895 in .30-40 Krag, well "rifle" is too generous, it was the action, a barrel and forestock that I could hand-tighten, no sights, and a chewed up buttstock. He complained when balked at $650

* A Savage 99 takedown action, looked nice, but it was literally just the action, no other parts at all. He wanted $300 but I saw someone bust his balls and talk him down to $100

Didn't see him this year, makes me wonder if he went to that great gun show in the sky
 

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... Second worst had to have been the Shamwow idiot at the same show 6 months later. He was trying to be Billy Mays and got so into his motions that he tripped off the crate he was standing on. I was too busy laughing at his hopefully crushed skull to both calling the ambulance or helping him up. ShamWOW indeed.
Not sure if it was the same guy, but we had a "Sham-WOW" moron across from our tables two shows ago at the Crossroads show. He'd roll up one of the damn things and BANG! it on his display table and shout "Sham-WOW!" whenever somebody walked by... talk about ANNOYING! Apparently he had a number of beers under the table and was drinking throughout the weekend. Supposedly he NARROWLY escaped getting a DUI when he was heading to the show to set up, we had to hear ALL about it... the guy left several times to get more cigarettes (and maybe beer?) and asked us to watch his stuff. Glad he wasn't at the LAST show!

At that same show I took a walk through one of the other buildings and saw a couple of Mausers on a rack - When I asked to take a look at them I was told they were all matching and rare, the ep'd RC I looked at first was selling for $850.00, and the Mitchell's Mauser I handled next was price at $950.00 - I got the whole spiel about how they were recently located in UNISSUED condition from an underground bunker in Germany... it was all I could do to not laugh in the guys' face. I just walked away.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I've actually heard of MM setting up in person at shows. I'm just glad I've never seen them in person because I'd probably have the urge to slap the person selling them.

It'd actually be absolutely worth getting charged with assault...
 

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fushigi,
was the guy with the rusted guns at the allentown pa fairgrounds show? there was an old senile guy selling a table full of guns that had been flooded or something, he had 2 22lr target guns that looked like they were in the ocean for a couple years, a k98 that was more furball than steel, and the wood looked like firewood and a couple stripped actions that i couldnt identify due to the advanced state of decomposition
 

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Not sure if it was the same guy, but we had a "Sham-WOW" moron across from our tables two shows ago at the Crossroads show. He'd roll up one of the damn things and BANG! it on his display table and shout "Sham-WOW!" whenever somebody walked by... talk about ANNOYING! Apparently he had a number of beers under the table and was drinking throughout the weekend. Supposedly he NARROWLY escaped getting a DUI when he was heading to the show to set up, we had to hear ALL about it... the guy left several times to get more cigarettes (and maybe beer?) and asked us to watch his stuff. Glad he wasn't at the LAST show!

At that same show I took a walk through one of the other buildings and saw a couple of Mausers on a rack - When I asked to take a look at them I was told they were all matching and rare, the ep'd RC I looked at first was selling for $850.00, and the Mitchell's Mauser I handled next was price at $950.00 - I got the whole spiel about how they were recently located in UNISSUED condition from an underground bunker in Germany... it was all I could do to not laugh in the guys' face. I just walked away.
You mean that the mitchell masuers (notice the lack of capitalization, this is intentional) are not as genuine as they claim? You don't say.

I once had the misfortune of handling a polished turd that mitchell's calls an all original rifle. The one positive I can say about it is the fact it had a mirror bore. Other than that it was 100% without a doubt created down below.
 

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haven't had too many weird dealers, but seen some weird things...

Funniest I have HEARD about but sadly did not see was told to me by 2 friends. They were dealing at a show here in Australia years ago, and it was the birthday of one of the other dealers. The dealer's had all pitched in and hired a stripper for his present... DURING THE SHOW! She walks in, naked as a Jay-Bird, and does her stuff at hsi table. needless to say, the entire hall was around the table and apparently you could have stolen ANYTHING you wanted from the tables and walked out... :) ;)

I still get a laugh about the guys walking around dressed like Douglas MacArthur (last show), Luftwaffe pilots (last show too - he was far too tall to fit in an He111, let alone an Me109 or Fw190). Or the kids that sit there in their uniforms behind the tables... sorry reenactors, I just cannot understand going to this extreme. I suppose it gets SOME people in the mood to buy at shows?

I do remeber though the "VERY RARE Japanese Murata rifle", priced at only $4000... of course, it was only a plain jane Portuguese Kropatschek. I pointed this out and pointed to an example that was 5 tables down, but of course the dealer knew better. I ended up buying the other Kropatschek for $395.



 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Truthfully... I can see how an utterly inexperienced person would mistake a Kropatscheck for a Murata at a distance... possibly up close if you had never seen a Murata before... But seriously, if they can't realize what the Kropat is after seeing another one sitting not but 5 tables away, they need glasses, therapy, or both.
 

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The guy who set up next to us at this weekend's local show was a barking moonbat. He was entertaining (9/11 ordered by the banks, carried out by the govt, TV screen pulse rate causes our brain to be susceptible to psychic mind control, keep your credit cards in a metal tin because the banks can read them in your pocket and clean out your account, the M16 has been used so long -- you know it jams after every few shots -- because the government wants as many of our soldiers to die as possible, Obama was cloned in a secret underground lab; it goes on, I even started taking notes), but people thought we were with him and also avoided the area. God had revealed the truth to him, and he was producing a DVD in which he will kindly reveal all to us --- everything we thought we knew is wrong -- and then the wicked will be swept from the earth. That's why he was there selling his guns: God told him to, as there won't be any more wicked people to shoot. God should've told him lower prices would move stuff quicker.... Or quit being 300 lbs and a chan smoker because he sounds like he's gonna stroke out when he stands up.
 

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fushigi,
was the guy with the rusted guns at the allentown pa fairgrounds show? there was an old senile guy selling a table full of guns that had been flooded or something, he had 2 22lr target guns that looked like they were in the ocean for a couple years, a k98 that was more furball than steel, and the wood looked like firewood and a couple stripped actions that i couldnt identify due to the advanced state of decomposition
Only seen him at the MD Arms Collector show. But it sounds like his stuff, and he is VERY old-looking. Maybe he didn't get his payment in time, or he got tossed
 

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The taser guys. I hate that constant 'KKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11" For whatever reason, that makes my nerves go off and I want to get away from that. I'd hate to be stuck next to them if I got a table.
 

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Yes those Zappers are really annoying. Three old guys playing Banjo's all day. Guy selling German militaria playing cd of German marching war songs over and over.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
The taser guys. I hate that constant 'KKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11" For whatever reason, that makes my nerves go off and I want to get away from that. I'd hate to be stuck next to them if I got a table.
Those things make me wince... I keep imagining what it would be like to get zapped by one of them whenever I hear one go off... And after the 4th "KRRAAAAAAAACK" I feel like taking the thing out of the guy's hands, shoving it up his *** and pulling the trigger lol.
 

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Hi Guys,

A few shows ago I saw a rough Vietnam bring back SKS that was selling for $1000.(ON SALE) it had "blood pitted" rust on the side--
BIG selling point! I asked for the bring back papers - lost in a fire
It's original the dealer told me "Took it out of a dead VC 's hands myself"!

The rifle had a pressed & pinned barrel. The area of the "blood pitting" was right where the import mark was originally, you could see the Dremmel grind marks under the rust and the very faint VT stamp. Century Internationsal arms xxxxxVT.
I just smiled at him.
My pal is a bit blunt & told him he would buy it IF he greased it up real well.. The dealed asked why?
"I want to shove it up your AsX." Your too young to have been in NAM! He ripped him badly, calling him a frigging lieing punk!
I walked by later the rifle was gone!

Best,
point6
 

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Actually the worst thing I have seen at gun shows are those folks that are not life members of the NRA. That's like a parasite that lives off of those that do support/pay for the NRA.

When they come to take away your guns, like Australia, it will be because of those gun owners that didn't support the NRA.
 

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There is this old Vietnam vet that has the worst attitude i have ever seen. My friend built a Romanian underfolder WITH SCREWS, put East German handguards & pistol grip on it sold it for like $900 as a rare preban "East German underfolder". Its funny too cause he's such a *****, I like to stand by his table & watch him argue with people about it.

We went a show one time & theguy had a pinned barrel SKS, beat all to hell. Told us "thats a Vietnam bringback, no tellin how many people its killed". We laughed & told him it might have killed some people in Atlanta, he looked stunned.

To the above post, I think when they come to take our guns we are all gonna use them. Many Americans ARE still trained riflemen who wouldn't hesitate to eliminate tyranny & reinstate the Republic. I was actually very suprised the Aussies let them take theirs, altough Im sure quite a few in OZ country have their rifles stashed away for a rainy day.
 
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