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Got this off a foreign website and on an impulse clicked on Google's "automatic translation". It's too hilarious not to share:

"...The Maschinengewehr 34 or MG34 machine gun is a German company Mauser used during the Second World War. The MG34 was the first in the world versatile machine gun, used both bipied or tripod, or a look-out anti-aircraft or vehicle. It could maintain a high rate of fire, despite his gun and light enough cooling air through a system of rapid permutation of the gun which would resume shooting after a few seconds. These two features were taken after the revolutionary war by all new guns in the developed world. His biggest drawback was its cost, which can provoke its replacement by Maschinengewehr much more economical 42.

"History:

The MG34 was designed in the early 1930s by Heinrich Vollmer of Mauser Werke, based on the 1930 or Solothurn MG30. It was created by a team led by Louis Strange at Rheinmetall and began to go into service in Switzerland. It made better food band, moved to the left of the weapon, a perforated sleeve and a cooling rate of fire between 800 and 900 rounds per minute. She worked as a short fall in the barrel and the lock is achieved through a rotating cylinder head, complete tenon which engaged in an extension of the barrel.

"It entered service in the Wehrmacht to replace old MG13 and was quickly sent to Spain where she behaved well. His versatility was revolutionary for its use bipied or tripod mounted on the MG-34 Laffette of 23.6 kg, or on another tripod lighter than 6.5 kg, for firing anti-aircraft. The bipied had more than two positions, under the muzzle, which was the most stable and another at the center of gravity of the weapon that allowed a better field of fire.

"The switch had a machine gun fire, allowing the shot piecemeal, when pressed on the basis of relaxation. The barrel is changed by rotating the body of a quarter turn in relation to the sleeve of the barrel, then removing it from the rear, a block of steel mesh was included with the gun for this operation. For use in assault on bipied, chargers 50 single and double to 75 shots were mounted on the side of the weapon, otherwise the food was by bands of 50 or 200 shots. Initially, the change of power for shippers required a double cover specific changes in plant, but later it was mounted as standard. In general, it was a weapon very well finished, with very low machining tolerances. The tripod pointing allowed indirect fire and was provided with a telescope sight.

"As against the arm suffered from two major defects: it had a tendency to unravel when used in a dusty environment, and above all, it was extremely expensive to produce, requiring 59 kilograms of metal and 150 hours of hand-d 'work. She served until the mass of the MG42, cheaper and less prone to clogging. The MG34 was nonetheless used throughout the war, in its heavy gun mounted on the armored MG34T, because it is the square of the MG42 be unsuitable for mounting on the kneecaps."

I love it. M
 

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Damn, that is funny! Thanks for the good laugh.

When I was just out of high school in '62, I got a brand new Honda Superhawk 305cc motorcycle, one of the first sold in the US. Of course it had an instruction manual which I read cover to cover. My all time favorite comment, amoakng many, in the section devoted to learning to ride a motorcycle was "when approacheth the watered hole in the path, the alert people is beware of the skid demon." No more no less......

Bob Naess
 

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Slightly OT but reminds me of some manual for TV, friend of mine showed me year ago. Czech transaltion was done using some kind of auto transaltor and the results were way too similar (in various parts of the text we were unable to find what the hell this sentence(s) should mean...)
 

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I just had google translator work up a translation of the phrase "There is a squid in your pants, and it is eating bacon" (the first phrase that popped to mind, don't ask why). The German translation was rendered as "Es ist ein Tintenfisch in der Hose und es ist Essen Speck". Then I had it translate said German phrase back into English and got "It is an octopus in the pants and it's eating bacon". I LOVE GOOGLE TRANSLATOR!
*turning blue from laughing too hard*
 

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Man, I bought a 1/72 model of an M36 Jackson Tank Destroyer way back when. It kept repeating over and over again about "cutting head, hand, or foot" and warned to throw away the plastic bags as "little child could use as toy, only to suffocate."
 
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