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Platinum Bullet Member
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Discussion Starter #1
If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy..

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you 're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout .
Run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
 

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When your butt itches, rub it across the carpet until it stops.

A tail can be a toy if you can only catch it...

Cat poo tastes like chicken.

Slobber cures any woe, if only humans would stop rubbing it off.
 

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Silver Bullet member
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...and never pass up a chance to lick your own asshole.
 

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Silver Bullet Member an all around excellent guy
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Pee on, or copulate with, anything that will stand still long enough.

You need to keep a sharp eye on meter readers, strangers, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and people selling magazine subscriptions.......they are evil so when they approach let them know you intend to kill them.

Practice and perfect your "retarded, 'who me?'" face...it will come in handy when people are looking for someone to blame.
 

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Pee on, or copulate with, anything that will stand still long enough.

You need to keep a sharp eye on meter readers, strangers, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and people selling magazine subscriptions.......they are evil so when they approach let them know you intend to kill them.

Practice and perfect your "retarded, 'who me?'" face...it will come in handy when people are looking for someone to blame.
My best friend , my cairn terrior named puppy dissappeared last week for the first time in over 12 years . I suspect she most likely found a nice spot in the forrest to "take a nap" .

However , this has brought up a few funny memories .

Whenever I could not find her , she was most often standing in front of the full lenght mirror . (I always suspected she was perfecting a "new cute pose" ).

She also (wish I had filmed it) had perfected what I called sniper dog .

She would lay on her belly & using her fromt legs , sniper crawl up to you . All she needed was a miniature rifle strapped to her back & some camo . :D
 

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Platinum Bullet Member
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Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
I wonder who would bring up the lick your balls thing.

Two guys were walking down the street when they saw a dog on the porch licking his balls. One fellow said,"man I wish could do that." His buddy said be careful he may bite.

We lost our Yorkie last September to old age. Still to this day more days than not when I get home I think I need to hurry and so Caesar can go out. I sure miss him.
 

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You guys forgot the most important one:

If you can't eat it or f**k it, piss on it.

DD
 
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