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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)



It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors.

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodeisel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again -- with a vengeance.

We've subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you'll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that's a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn't skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you'll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don't stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM's Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes -- even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet. Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard.

Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like in-dash condom dispenser and detachable vibrating shift knob. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you'll never miss a segment of NPR again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit's famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don't own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you're supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an MSRP starting at only $629,999.99, it's affordable too. Don't forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you'd choose it over the import brands. Even if they were still legal.
http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2008/11/lemon.html
 

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OK dirty, now tell me why I should be impressed by your "signature line" tell me WHY I should give a rotten rat's ass that you stick it in your posts.

For that matter what in the hell does it have to do with the present posting?

Or were you just determined spoil what was a funny post?
 

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Hilarious!

"It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes -- even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet. Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard."


Oooh, they just had to take a jab at poor ole Teddy. :D

I especially love the retro colors man. The house we bought three years ago still had all its "Harvest Gold" appliances....and countertops, and tile,....and vanity tops...I'm still mad at my wife for making me remove it all. I grew up in a house with an Avocado kitchen and it makes me sentimental thinking about it.

It's past time for some far-out retro my man. I'll get may garage ready for its new 2012 Pelosi by painting it orange and putting some shag carpet in my wife's van and painting a mural on the side of that sucker. Free love, disco, a gas crisis, recession, a disgraced Republican President and an incoming Democrat with no real experience,.........let's do the 70's right the second time around you dig.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
OK dirty, now tell me why I should be impressed by your "signature line" tell me WHY I should give a rotten rat's ass that you stick it in your posts.

For that matter what in the hell does it have to do with the present posting?

Or were you just determined spoil what was a funny post?

STILL unclear regarding the employment of a "signature line" at the bottom of a Gunboards forum member's posts, Einstein? Lots of folks use them. Maybe someone with more patience than I have can explain it to you. :rolleyes:
 

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Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like in-dash condom dispenser and detachable vibrating shift knob. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you'll never miss a segment of NPR again.
All those interior features are nice but many questions are still left unanswered. How many condoms does the dispenser hold? Can the vibrating shift knob be run/recharged off the alternator or does it need it own batteries? Will the three hundred aluminium can capacity not tax the engine resulting in lower gas milage? Well at least I will never miss a segment of NPR ever again, that had me worried.
 
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